Hurts so dumb, take 2
(Reprinted from March 12, 2009)
Once again, it’s time to be amused by other people’s misery.
Now before everyone starts thinking I’m some sort of sadistic creep, let me remind you that I have no intention of laughing at genuine misfortune. Real folks with real problems deserve sympathy, assistance or whatever else we can offer that will make their plight a bit more bearable.
However, professional athletes are a different story altogether. Sure, there are ones who’ve dealt with serious family matters involving their children — Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee and Bears defensive back Peanut Tillman immediately come to mind — and they, too, should be treated with compassion.
What I’m referencing is those jocks who, through their own carelessness or stupidity, have brought physical injury upon themselves.
About two months ago, I chronicled the tales of roughly a dozen highly paid sports-world individuals who got hurt not during competition, but because of some bizarre maneuver they pulled off the field of play. The list was by no means a complete one, and after some dogged research done by others, I’ve compiled an update.
One thing I noticed is that golf is a very dangerous undertaking. It’s always been physically taxing, particularly for those 120-pound teenaged caddies toting 100 pounds’ worth of golf bags for businessmen whose post-round tips consist of stock-purchasing advice for the youngsters, who have no money to invest because they’ve just been stiffed.
But in the case of athletes, I’m talking real injuries. Amazingly, none was suffered during actual play.