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Kids and adults should stay away from ‘Sex Tape’

By Tony Pinto

  “Sex Tape” is not a family movie, as you could most likely tell by the title. It’s an R-rated movie that at times pushes the boundary of what can be considered an R-rated movie, so keep the kids far away from this film.
  The film’s about Annie, played by Cameron Diaz, and Jay, played by Jason Segel. They are a married couple in a sexless marriage. That wasn’t always the case, as we see in the extremely long opening montage. They had intimate relations all the time, then kids came and then they just kind of stopped.
  Apparently it’s not like riding a bike, and they forgot how to have intimate relations. In order to solve their problem they come to the conclusion they need to make a porno.
  What could go wrong with this idea?
  Long story short, their “Sex Tape” gets out. The one husband Jay is a radio DJ who is into technology. Somehow he gives away iPads as gifts really frequently. That’s one expensive gift to give out.
In what is not actually possible in real life, all the iPads sync to his computer. You can thank Apple for this not being real. What could go wrong there? What can go wrong does go wrong.
This is the part where all the computer savvy people come in and rip apart the plot for being intentionally technologically dumb. The writers are Jason Segel, Nicholas Stoller, and Kate Angelo, the latter two surprisingly also directed “The Muppets.” They want us to believe that Jay is a technologically savvy person, but if he actually was there would be no movie.
  If he was technologically smart, that would be nice, because then there would actually be no movie. Back to the plot, the tape goes up to the cloud which is basically a fancy storage device that doesn’t physically exist that holds computer documents. While up in the cloud, the tape syncs to all the iPads Jay gives outs. Jay and Annie with the help of their friends Robby, played by Rob Corddry and Tess, played by Ellie Kemper go on a wild goose chase looking for the iPads so they can erase the film from all the iPads Jay has given away.
  On the journey, they run into some interesting people including Hank Rosenbaum, played by Rob Lowe. He may do the best job of anyone in the film and that’s really not saying much. Diaz and Segel have starred together before in the film “Bad Teacher” where they actually had chemistry together, unlike in this film where it all seems forced.
  It has some laughs but not nearly enough. Even with the laughs we do get they all seem forced. The main characters are never the butt of any jokes but they should be. They seem to get out scot-free every time there could be a joke about them.
  At times the movie seems way to much like an iPad commercial. Hopefully the makers of this movie got some money from Apple, because there is Apple product placement everywhere.
  It’s a movie that’s not worth your time. There have been better R-rated comedies to come out this year, so spend your time watching those movies. If you do choose to see it be forewarned, the best part is it has a short running time.
  Tony Pinto’s grade: D.