Don’t let drama sour your Thanksgiving

  • Written by Claudia Parker

Claudia Mug Shot-ColorThe holidays don’t always elicit harmony among family members.
For some, coming together heightens deep-rooted and unresolved offenses. In most cases, drama isn’t formally invited but somehow slips in unannounced. Personally, I appreciate hearing how other people navigate through uncomfortable family interactions. They’ve helped me to circumvent a few of my own.
This scenario happened to my girlfriend and hearing it stuck with me for a while. She was in a relationship with a man who lived with his mother, whom had ongoing health difficulties. She said, during the course of their relationship, his mom was moody, but hadn’t overtly offended her until this one afternoon.
Allow me to place you in the scenario.
Due to her health issues, this mother has diet restrictions that often lead her to have strong cravings. This particular day she longs for tacos, so you volunteer to make them.
Upon opening her frig, you realize the ingredients for tacos must be sitting on the shelf at the local grocer because they aren’t inside. Therefore, you go and return.
With fresh produce in hand, you now embark upon dicing tomatoes, shredding lettuce and scrambling ground beef. You feel a sense of accomplishment when you pull the golden, crisp, taco shells from the oven. Layering the ingredients proportionately inside, you trot your display of tacos, eating utensils and preferred beverage to her room with delight.
You feel good about fulfilling someone else’s desire. Despite the time, energy and monetary loss, you’re glad you could help. The only thing you need is a satisfied reaction from the individual you’ve gone out of your way to accommodate.
But, you get…”I’m not eating that.” In disbelief no less, you place the tray before her anyway. She pushes it away and restates, “I’m not eating it. It doesn’t have sour cream.” You quickly discover she isn’t joking. You weren’t aware of sour cream being a prerequisite prior to preparing this meal. But, for her, no sour cream on tacos is like Oreos without milk -- a deal breaker. Therefore, she doesn’t eat the tacos and she doesn’t apologize for her position.
My girlfriend of whom this incident occurred handled herself with class and extended grace. She said, “It was rude, and I was upset but I let it go.”
I wondered, “Would I have?” I don’t know.
What I know is this, offense is meant to hurt our feelings, cause resentment, irritation, anger, or displeasure.
Surrendering to offense allows the emotion to steal our joy.
Being offended is a choice. We can choose to let an event replay, ponder our responses through trivial gossip and plan retaliations, or we can choose to let it go. Keeping yourself conscious of surrendering offense takes practice. It’s impossible for offenses not to come to us but let’s make sure these offenses aren’t coming from us.
I pray your Thanksgiving will leave you full with turkey and its trimmings, fellowship with family and family. And of course, football! Let’s leave the drama outside in the cold. But, if it happens to slip in anyway, choose to shake it off.

Claudia Parker is an Evergreen Park mother, author, runner whose columns appear the second and fourth Thursdays for the Reporter.

Decision 14 - Gorman faces token opposition from Hickey in county board race

  • Written by Tim Hadac

The two-party system appears to be a bit of a sham this fall, at least as it relates to the “race” for the 17th District seat on the Cook County Board of Commissioners.
Republican powerhouse Elizabeth “Liz” Doody Gorman, of Orland Park, appears to be coasting to victory in her quest for a fourth term, with Democrat Jim Hickey, also of Orland Park, apparently missing in action—perhaps by design--from the campaign trail.
Hickey, a Gorman ally and president of the Orland Fire Protection District, does not appear to have a functioning campaign operation. An Internet search shows no campaign website, and Hickey has not reached out to the press as a candidate.
He was unopposed in March 18 Democratic primary, picking up 7,693 votes, while Gorman amassed 13,292 votes in her contested race on the GOP side with physician Barbara Bellar.
Hickey did not respond to requests for comment by The Regional News. A Wikipedia entry about him claims that he entered the race “believing that Gorman, his ally and a key supporter in his election [to the OFPD board], was planning to run for higher office, and that he would only seek Gorman’s seat in the Nov. 4 election if she retired.”
A native of the Marquette Park neighborhood on Chicago’s Southwest Side, Hickey ran for the newly created 11th Congressional District seat in 2012, finishing last in a three-way Democratic primary. The following year, he entered and then withdrew from the race to succeed disgraced U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr.
Hickey’s absence has given Gorman free rein to continue her all-out advocacy for Bruce Rauner’s campaign for governor. She was an early and effective supporter of Rauner and is credited by many with playing a key role in his victory last March over established GOP candidates. Last month, Gorman hosted a town hall meeting for Rauner in Orland Hills.
Gorman, a self-described conservative “on fiscal and social issues,” is perhaps best known for her successful leadership role in opposing and later repealing the 133 percent tax hike pushed by then-County Board President Todd Stroger in 2008 and passed by the board’s Democratic majority.
“Throughout my time in office, I’ve been a strong advocate for tax reform, budget and operational efficiencies, especially in the area of new technology,” Gorman told The Regional News earlier this year. “I have worked hard to fight for tax reform on multiple fronts. In 2013, I successfully sponsored the tax rate cut to the county’s Motor Vehicle Transfer Tax. Also, I successfully fought $1.6 billion in new tax proposals over my term in office [since 2002].”
Gorman also said she has worked hard for greater transparency throughout county government. “I sponsored an ethics law requiring greater disclosure and transparency for Cook County government and spearheaded the charge that resulted in the resolution that led to the abolishment of the corruption-riddled Cook County Regional Office of Education,” she said.
She has also endeavored to “make the Cook County Forest Preserve District a national leader in the areas of recreation, restoration and conservation,” Gorman said.
The incumbent said that her staff has assisted hundreds of constituents with property tax appeals and numerous other service requests. “Infrastructure improvements were made a priority for the 17th District especially in the area of flood mitigation. I’m proud to highlight these initiatives, services and programs,” she said.
Gorman, who holds a master’s degree from the University of Notre Dame and a bachelor’s degree from St. Mary’s University in Minnesota. She lives with her husband, Gerald, and sons, Conor, Liam and Shane.

A rocky discussion of Stony Creek Promenade

  • Written by Bob Rakow

Perhaps it was no surprise at Tuesday’s Oak Lawn Village Board meeting that a vote related to the Stony Creek Promenade led to another extended debate between Trustee Robert Streit and Mayor Sandra Bury.


Streit’s talking points are simple enough.


He repeatedly has said Oak Lawn taxpayers recently were taken advantage of because the village lost $24 million in the sale of Stony Creek Promenade. He further contends that Hamilton Partners, the project developer, garnered $28 million via the sale despite the village’s investment in the property being significantly greater than Hamilton’s.


Bury and other village officials have said Streit’s figures don’t add up and accuse him of lying for political reasons.


Streit faces re-election in the spring, four years after winning a very close election against a write-in candidate. One village official said Tuesday that Streit is extremely concerned about his chances in 2015.


Following Tuesday’s meeting, Bury pointed to a detailed, four-page memo written Village Manager Larry Deetjen that outlines the sale of Stony Creek Promenade Phase I.


The memo debunks Streit’s financial claims about the Stony Creek Promenade sale, Bury said.


The mayor also took to her blog to discredit Streit’s claims, saying the veteran trustee is lying about the deal.


“In what is called a sure sign of desperation about spring re-election prospects, Bob Streit continues to spread lies and misinformation about the most successful retail development in Oak Lawn’s history,” Bury wrote Oct. 13 in her blog.

“Bob Streit’s response to Stony Creek Promenade’s record breaking success is to bad mouth Hamilton Partners, bad mouth the stores investing millions in our village and undermine the process in every way possible with a social media campaign orchestrated with Dave Heilmann to taint this development and hold Oak Lawn’s economic growth back,” the mayor added.

Bury asked Streit why he is opposed to a development project he initially supported.

Streit said he backed plans for an upscale mall “not a mediocre strip mall.”

Bury called the remark “reckless.”

Trustee Michael Carberry told Streit that he is alone in his thinking about the 111th Street project, where a recently opened Mariano’s has been very well received.

“I really don’t know anyone in Oak Lawn who thinks this is a bad deal expect you,” Carberry said to Streit. “I just don’t get it. You’re alone. Who’s with you?”

Other officials noted that the property was previously home to a closed grocery store, a Kmart and a parking lot full of seagulls. Additionally, the area lacked retention and green space.


Tuesday’s 5-1 vote allows Hamilton Partners to develop the Edgar Funeral Home, 10900 S. Cicero Ave., which will be renovated for retail use.

Letter to the Editor from 9-11-14

Grateful for huge response to ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
Dear Editor:
By now you have seen the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge videos of people getting doused with ice water and then nominating others to embrace this call to action. They encourage friends and relatives to accept the challenge, donate money to an ALS charity or do both.
In mid-August, Facebook reported that 2.4 million videos related to the Ice Bucket Challenge had been shared and more than 28 million people posted, commented or liked these posts.
As the executive director of the Skokie-based Les Turner ALS Foundation, I am invigorated by the response to this campaign. Some videos have been funny, others creative, and some very emotional. These videos provide hope to the ALS community – hope that the dialogue around ALS will continue and funding will continue to increase, long after the Ice Bucket Challenge has ended.
While we have not raised tens of millions of dollars like the national organization and we will not receive any of the funds they have collected, the Les Turner ALS Foundation has experienced a significant increase in fundraising. Since the Challenge took off, we have raised over $550,000, a nearly 600 percent increase over what we raised last year in the same time period.
When people donate to the Les Turner ALS Foundation, their contribution stays local. They are helping support three research laboratories at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, a patient center at Northwestern Medicine and a range of patient services, such as home visits, support groups and grant programs.
Critics of the campaign have said it fails to move the needle in terms of awareness, so for those unsure of what ALS is, it’s a terminal neuromuscular disorder that attacks a person’s muscles, gradually robbing them of their ability to walk, speak, eat and breathe, yet usually keeping their mind intact. At any given time, approximately 35,000 people in the United States are living with ALS. Currently, there is no prevention or cure.
I am grateful for every donor and every dollar, as these funds guarantee the programs we offer will continue and new programs can be created, both in research and care; however, the public needs to know that the millions of dollars continually referenced in the media will not benefit the Les Turner ALS Foundation, only those funds donated directly to us will be allocated toward our local programs.

Wendy Abrams
Executive Director
Les Turner ALS Foundation

broaden your horizons

This week

The Center Cinema

  "Nebraska" will be shown this at 6 p.m. this Friday, Aug. 1, as part of the monthly Center Cinema series at The Center, 12700 Southwest Highway, Palos Park.
  "Nebraska" features Bruce Dern as an aging, difficult dad. A discussion follows the movie. Free popcorn is served. No fee is charged but pre-registration is necessary. Call The Center at 361-3650.

Nature collage
class for families

  An art class for families will be hosted at the Log Cabin Center for the Arts on Wednesday, Aug. 6, from 6:30 to 7:30 pm. The Log Cabin Art Center is located at 12700 Southwest Highway in Palos Park.
  Instructor Heather Young invites families with children of any age to combine magazine images to create interesting naturescape collages. The class fee is $ 8 per person and includes all supplies. Advance reservations are required. Call The Center at 361-3650.


  Meditation opportunities are offered every Tuesday evening, 5:30 p.m. and Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings, 9 a.m., at The Center, 12700 Southwest Highway in Palos Park.
  Pastoral director Chris Hopkins and hospitality manager Winnie Brock organize these 20-minute periods of silent meditation, offer guidance to those new to the practice of meditation, and welcome anyone to join. Call 361-3650 for information.

The Bridge Teen
Center events

• Gardening — 1:30 to 2:30 p.m. today (Thursday), The Bridge Teen Center, 15555 S. 71st Court, Orland Park, host a program with Alsip Nursery to teach students the proper way to plant and maintain a garden.
• Flatbread Pizzas — 4 to 5:30 p.m. today, The Bridge Teen Center culinary with Granite City to teach students how to make delicious flatbread pizza with homemade sauces.
• Girls Night In — 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. this Friday, Aug. 1, annual Girls Night In event focuses on inner and outer beauty through a variety of stations. Students will experience a night that is uplifting, encouraging, and meaningful. All girls will take home a favor bag filled with high-quality lotions, perfume, hair accessories, and more. RSVP is required.
• Guys Night Out — 7:30 to 10:30 p.m. Aug. 2, annual Guys Night Out event. Students will enjoy a fun-filled night with burgers, games, competitions and guy-to-guy talks. RSVP is required.
• Electric Guitar — 5 to 6 p.m. Aug. 5, 12 and 19, program with Tone Wolf Music, to teach students the basics of the electric guitar.
• Stress Busters — 2 to 3 p.m. Aug. 5, will teach students how to manage their stress in order to have a great school year.
• Inspirational Locker Art —4:30-5:30 p.m. Aug. 5, art program for students to create a piece of art to hang in their locker.
• Middle School Meet-N-Greet —2 to 3 p.m. Aug. 6, meet-n-greet for middle school students to make an ice cream sundae and play games with students from their school.
• Get Organized for School — 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. Aug. 6, program for students to create an organizational system that prevents them from misplacing assignments.
• High School Meet-N-Greet — 2 to 3 p.m. Aug. 7, meet-n-greet for high school students to make an ice cream sundae and play games with students from their school.
• Yoga in the Park — 4 to 5:45 p.m. Aug. 7, combines the benefits of yoga with the relaxation of being outdoors.
  These free events are for teens in 7th through 12th grade. For more information, call, 532-0500.