What to do?
Across the pond, in jolly ol’ England, Cable.co.uk had some time on its hands and money in its drawer, so it conducted a survey. One of the questions involved asking people if people would rather lose a finger or a broadband connection.
Well, 29 percent of the 2,500 people who responded said they would rather lose the finger and 25 percent more said they couldn’t make a choice.
For those 29 percent that would choose the finger – God bless you for your decision. I would have added another question to the survey…
How do you want the digit to be removed?
$1d) Really big scissors
For those who would definitely rather keep their finger and ditch the cable, God bless you, too. You made a wise decision.
But for those who are waffling, I have to wonder what in the heck you are thinking of.
Unless you are like former Cubs pitcher Antonio Alfonseca and have an extra finger or two to spare, this should be a no-brainer. You shouldn’t have to think about it. It’s a tough choice, but not that tough.
In a move that may stun my family, I would choose losing the internet.
We have grown so dependent on it that losing it would jolt us back into the covered wagon, pioneer and prairie days – the early 1990s. We had to rely on telephones instead of texts. We had to do research using books. Some people actually didn’t know what happened in last night’s ballgame until they read it in the newspaper.
We watched TV shows when the networks told us to. Music was on these round things called discs and before than on bigger round things called records.
Yeah, you could watch movies on a thing called a VHS player but it took a while before newer movies were released in that format.
Teenagers actually talked to each other without looking down at their phones.
I can go on and on.
My brother and sister, albeit older than me, have lived without the internet. And they would enjoy it. My brother is huge into old cars and would love the world of information he could glom off the internet. But they don’t have it and they seem OK with it.
I love using the internet as much as anyone but to lose a finger over it?
“Which is why the question of what we’d give up to keep our broadband, provides us a somewhat crazy answer. A finger? Surely not,” Cable.co.uk editor Dan Howdle said in quotes all over the place. “What we’re doing there is substituting ‘broadband’ for ‘daily contact with friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances’ – and in that context, the thought living with nine fingers is, by comparison, rather trivial to some.”
And that about those people who already lost a finger or two? They could be down to an unlucky seven or eight by the time this scenario plays out. They might not have enough to use the keyboard effectively.
Ah well, I will keep my finger and hope to heck I didn’t sell any of my Ramones CDs at a garage sale.